As the difference was addressed in Part 1 of Are You a Hearer or a Listener, how are you able to absorb the material discussed from that business conversation, scheduled meeting, planned appointment or intimate or casual conversation? While relationships are an important key in life, there is always room for developing or improving in that area.
People communicate with others for various reasons besides relating informational data. Not only is there desire for interaction on personal, business or social levels, but being a hearer or listener can involve expressions of emotions with empathy or compassion.
How Can You Be a Better Hearer or a Listener?
When it comes to engaging in the conversation, give attention without your thinking about what to say next. Maintaining good eye contact also keeps focus on the communication flow.
In having respect towards the one talking, allowing them to speak without interrupting helps to avoid breaking their train of thought. Of course, making sure you have adequate time allotted for the conversation is a must before it should even take place. While during the conversation it is learned that more time is necessary to elaborate or to get a clearer understanding, make that determination and state another time if necessary for further discussion.
Sometimes we may have the urge to interject with a comment, yet only discover later that the comment is irrelevant due to not waiting to get the full picture. I know sometimes that can be annoying especially when words like, “Wait,” or “Let me finish,” has to be spoken.
When the other person appears to have finished, ask questions as to what was just relayed. It is the dialoguing with exchange of thoughts that helps to build and take the relationship to the next step. Asking questions brings clarity to 
the discussion and establishes an understanding much like what a doctor or counselor does in making an evaluation. And even for what those professionals do, time is what many people would even be willing to pay in order to be heard.
We all interact with one another in our own ways and when it comes to being a hearer or a listener regardless of what the communication entails, active listening can improve personal connections and help in develop trusting relationships that is built with respect.
The next time we have the opportunity to be in a conversation, let us ask ourselves if we are able to comprehend well enough to speak vicariously for the person with empathy. Critiquing ourselves when we do so can perhaps be an exercise in helping to build or improve our communication skills and relationships.
A life lesson communication tip is also in Romans 12:15 which states:
When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow.
Have a blessed day and would appreciate if you would please comment, re-tweet and share with others too.
Tags: hearer, listener, nelly paekukui
Makes complete sense to me Nelly. Some people don’t have such common sense to some of this. I am a really good listener to what other people have to say. I may get a little excited and want to add to the conversation when I feel that I may lose my train of thought on a subject that was brought up. But I don’t like to compete on power struggle conversations of who should be heard on certain matters; depending on the situation. These are some of the same things that you practice on interviews as well with someone. Very important concepts to keep in mind.
Steven Dean
Steven Dean recently posted..Old News Is Recycled Goods
Nelly, you’re so right. It’s very important to give your full attention without thinking about what you’re going to say next. When you’re focused on what you’re going to say, you’re not focused on the other person. You care more about your own comment or perspective than about listening to the other person. When you’re present with the other person and truly listening, it can be a powerful experience. It allows you to start to really understand what they’re saying . . . and then respond to it. You can also listen to other things besides what they’re saying vocally. Body language, tone of voice, particular words they say or don’t say . . . they all contribute to the communication.
Great post!
Leanne Chesser recently posted..Your Product Launch Questions Answered
Hi Steven,
Thanks for adding about it being the same things that are practiced in interviews as well. I didn’t think of that scenario, however, it certainly does make sense. Surely appreciate your thoughts and comments on this.
Aloha,
Nelly
Hi Leanne,
Thank you for visiting and commenting. To focus on the other person to understand what they desire to express clearly is how relationships are built in terms of communication.
Much appreciation to you!
Nelly